It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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