He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
