I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
