If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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