Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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