Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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