Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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