a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
