Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
