Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Damn victory sex feels great
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
