Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
