I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
