..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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