just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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