I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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