Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
