Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize