I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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