would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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