Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
