problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
