my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
