i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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