i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
