Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
