I wish I only lived at night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
