Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
