I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
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She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
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At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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