I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sorry my hands just texted you
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
