I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
