Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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