Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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