Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
