i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
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He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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