WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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