A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
