Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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