God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
