someone threw a dead crab at me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize