life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
dude i'm inner monologue high
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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