Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We need to get me chipped asap
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
