when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize