You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
