It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
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I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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