I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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