He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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