We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
