I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We have so much sex to catch up on
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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