for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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