I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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