please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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