i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
