Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
