i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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