He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
