dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
