Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize