non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
