I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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