I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
