I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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