dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
