I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
