I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
